THIS ONE'S FOR IGGY

Your eyebrows are big
Florida is too
burgers are delicious
and so are you

Your glasses are okay
Your coat is kinda nice too
Shall we negotiate borders?
Not that I like you.

Always so tsundere
A HERO is what you need, I do say.
Scones and crumpets, pip pip
Who can deny our "special relationship?"

Oh, pish posh
Just go back to work.
Keep those crumpets
Y-you american jerk!

Trousers off
Boxers too
So lie back
and think of you

Roses are red and so is wine
But wine is delicious
and I find you quite atrocious.

Using our words
Should sound joyous and fun,
Not like some birds
Getting shot by a gun.

Downright vile!
Your sense of shame must be small-
Oh, who am I kidding
I'll fuck you into that wall.

To talk of such things
While still so small,
Do you have self-respect?
Do you even care at all?

You are too young,
Though I guess your offer is kind,
But despite your efforts
You will never be mine.

I yet have my virtue-
It's mine alone to give;
Should you attempt rape,
You might not still live.

Nantucket disheveled
Texas askew
Florida's now north
You know what to do.

Your verses flow well,
But they make no sense,
So why change the topic;
Does it seem too tense?

Oho, what's this
I'm taking the lead?
Shut up Hunter.
You cannot even read.

If I cannot read,
Then I must wonder how
I managed to reply
Up until now.

Enough talk,
Big Ben will liven.
(And look on the bright side,
He's better than Ivan.)

Good sir,
I say,
You're not very good
At conversation today.

Kolkolkolkol
Snow is as quiet as a mouse
Become one with Russia
Or get out of my house

I spoke too soon
This might be bad
Aw, hell, forget it-
Shall we continue, dad?